The talk-show host read the satirical roster on Tuesday's edition of his program.
Letterman's Top 10 "Unnecessary 911 Calls" went as follows --
10. "I need to settle a bet about who played 'Potsie'"
9. "It feels like Wednesday, but it's only Tuesday"
8. "Can you get this jar open?"
7. "My telephone keeps making ringing sounds."
6. "First time, long time -- when are the Jets gonna start Tebow?"
5. "The delivery guy didn't bring soy sauce"
4. "My prostate is giving me fits"
3. "I've fallen and I can't ... Oh wait, I just got up"
2. "Viagra's lasted more than four hours."
1. "I'm losing the election to a guy named 'Mitt.'"
U.S. Vice President Joe Biden is to read Thursday night's Top 10 list. The topic has not been disclosed.
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