5. "The incredible, true story of a teenager's monkey, seized by German authorities."
4. "Strap yourself in for two hours you'll never get back."
3. "Coming soon, another asinine movie about vampires."
2. "Special sneak preview at midnight in my van."
1. "Anthony Weiner in 3-D."
The action flick "Iron Man 3" earned more than $175 million when it opened this past weekend.
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