knows his ex-fiancee Lauren Bushnell
is in a relationship with a new guy, and the former The Bachelor
star is sharing his initial reaction.
When Ben was swamped with work and preparing for a charity trip to Honduras in late July, he was hit with the gut-wrenching news of Lauren's new romance with Devin Antin, according to Us Weekly
, just two months after The Bachelor
couple had called off their engagement and split.
Overwhelmed, Ben revealed, "I decided to go for a run."
"I was praying the whole time like, 'God, please release some anxiety,'" Ben told Us
, adding that he believes his prayer was answered. "I stopped and thought, 'If I'm the man I claim I want to be, then I need to celebrate Lauren.' So if she's happy, I will celebrate that the best I can."
Lauren and Devin, a Los Angeles real estate investor who has been her friend for several years, have reportedly been going steady for about two months now.
Lauren is already posing for professional photo shoots with her new beau, and on August 4, she shared a sweet photo
of themselves through an Instagram story in which she called him a "cutie."
Lauren and Devin also enjoyed a getaway to Maui
together last week, not to mention Us
reported that Lauren has already met a few members of his family.
Now that it's clear Lauren has moved on, Ben told the magazine that's he is "not not
ready to date."
"I've been thinking about it a lot... But it still feels weird. How do I take that first step? That's where I'm at. I do long for a commitment and to love somebody and for somebody to do the same for me. I'm ready to find that. If the right moment presented itself, I would want to take a first step," Ben explained.
So what is the Season 20 The Bachelor
star looking for
in a woman?
"I want someone to open my eyes wider, who loves a little harder and pushes me to do the same," the 29-year-old Denver resident told Us
"I'm not saying Lauren didn't offer those things. My dad once said, 'Ben, when you know, you know.' I was like, 'That doesn't help.' But that's all I got right now. So I'm looking for someone that, when I meet them, I know."
Ben also hopes this special person he has yet to meet will convince him that he's not "unlovable" -- a longtime fear of his that was introduced when he competed for Kaitlyn Bristowe
on The Bachelorette's
"I think I will always feel that until I find it not to be true," he said. "But it's not this paralyzing insecurity anymore. Now, it allows me to speak more vulnerably. I've gotten thousands of messages from people who feel the same way, which encourages me. I know I'm not alone."
Ben and Lauren fell in love on The Bachelor's
20th season in 2016. He proposed during the finale, and then the couple split
in May 2017. Lauren, an aspiring model
, moved back to Los Angeles after the breakup and reportedly reconnected with Devin.