90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days couple Avery Warner and Ash Naeck were hopeful they could continue making a long-distance relationship work without getting engaged, so were they successful or did they split? Is the couple still together?
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[90 Day Fiance Spoilers Warning: This report contains spoilers that reveal if Avery and Ash are still an item or have broken up since filming the show, as well as spoilers from the Tell-All reunion that filmed in early May].
Avery, a 32-year-old dental assistant from Seattle, WA, and Ash, a 38-year-old relationship coach from Melbourne, Australia, bonded for nine months before starring on the 90 Day Fiance spinoff.RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
Avery who has two daughters -- Scarlett, 10, and Silver, 2 -- welcomed Scarlett from her first marriage and Silver from the relationship she was in before meeting Ash.
For Ash's part, he had been married and divorced once before and currently shares custody of a 10-year-old son Taj with his ex-wife, Sian.
Avery worried Ash was too good to be true since he knows exactly how to talk to and treat women as a relationship dating coach. Avery wondered if she had fallen in love with a rehearsed and altered version of Ash that's different from his genuine, true self.
Avery also didn't like how Ash worked with single women all the time, and at one point, Ash had deleted all photos of her from his social media.
Ash claimed his account had been hacked and someone changed his relationship status, but Avery wasn't really buying it.
Another problem the couple faced was when Ash lied about having filed for bankruptcy, which prevented him from obtaining a K-1 visa to travel to the United States. Avery was left wondering whether Ash was keeping more secrets from her.
Avery also struggled with jealousy and insecurity issues, which she said resulted in the couple breaking up three times before. Avery therefore hoped getting to know Ash in person would answer all of her questions, including if they're meant to be.
If all went according to plan, Ash was going to move to the United States with his son -- but Avery wanted to make sure Sian would approve of such a huge life-change first.
"Proposing to her is definitely in the cards, but she's a very cautious person. So it depends on if she will allow me to give love and feel comfortable receiving it. So yeah, it will be up to her," Ash told the cameras.
When the pair reunited in Australia, they both agreed their chemistry was "undeniable" and "strong."
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOWRELATED LINK: 'MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT' COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO BROKE UP? WHERE ARE THEY NOW? (PHOTOS)
Ash gushed about how Avery was even more beautiful in person, and Avery said meeting Ash was everything she had imagined as well.
Ash then planned a romantic three-night getaway for the couple, including stops at The Outback and Great Barrier Reef, but their time together was laced with issues.
Avery, for example, thought Ash had the tendency to "sugarcoat things" in order to avoid conflict or difficult conversations. And Avery thought Ash became "flustered" and entered a "defense mode" whenever she'd ask him questions.
"If you are trying to hide anything from me because you fear losing me, that's going to open up a ton of problems," Avery insisted.
Avery also saw that Ash's phone had a whopping 68 text messages waiting for him at one point. Avery didn't know which women were clients and which ones were contacting him for other reasons.
In addition, Ash accidentally called himself "single," which Avery called "an instant punch to the gut."
But Ash thought Avery just felt intimidated or threatened by his female clients, and he said it wasn't fair for Avery not to trust him. Ash said a lack of trust in a romance can be completely destructive.
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Ash claimed women are naturally feminine and men are masculine, with women being nurturing and caring. He taught that men care about working, bringing home money and fixing problems.
"I'm starting to worry that he actually believes some of the things he's saying right now, and when it comes to gender roles, that can absolutely be a dealbreaker for me if we're not on the same page about what my role is in the relationship," Avery told the cameras.
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE: BEFORE THE 90 DAYS' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
After the seminar, Avery expressed her concern and discomfort to Ash, explaining that masculine and feminine energies have "nothing to do with gender."
"It has everything to do with that, actually," Ash countered, before telling Avery her energy was feminine.
Ash felt he lacked support and understanding from Avery, whom he accused of patronizing him, stripping his dignity and being "heartless."
Ash determined he couldn't spend the rest of his life with someone who "doesn't care," but Avery felt she couldn't have a long-term relationship with someone who's "emotionally irrational" and deflects problems onto other people.
However, the pair decided to go through with Avery meeting Sian and Taj after spending the night apart in a hotel and cooling down.
Ash previously told Avery that Sian was very open to the idea of Taj moving to America with his father, but Avery was very wary of this and needed to hear it directly from the source. Avery didn't want to create dissension or problems for Ash's family.
While chatting at a wine bar alone, Sian admitted to Avery that she felt "deeply upset" about the idea" of Taj moving because he's her "world."
"[Ash] came out with the question one day. I really had to digest it and I'm still digesting and processing it...I can't even fathom being in a different country. I just can't," Sian told Avery. "If Ash goes there to America, I want Taj to spend time with Ash."
However, Sian pointed out Ash should live in Australia with her son and visit Avery several times a year -- essentially the situation in reverse.
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Avery realized Sian clearly didn't want Ash to be out of Taj's life for a long period of time given Taj's young age.
The day after Avery met Sian, Ash insisted Sian was okay with the idea of Taj moving in the beginning but then she changed her mind.
"But maybe that information was lost, and I take full responsibility of that," Ash told the cameras.
Avery then suggested Ash could spend three months with her in the United States and the majority of his time in Australia with his son until he's old enough to understand and handle the distance better.
"I think that's actually a really good resolution," Ash told his girlfriend. "I am very open for that actually."
Ash also admitted to bending the truth a bit in terms of how long ago he had divorced Sian, (it was only one year ago), but Avery was glad they could have a constructive conversation.
"The last thing I want to do is create issues between a parent and their child," Avery acknowledged.
"I came to Australia hoping to get engaged to him, but even though Ash and I have so much love and so much passion for each other, this is a really complicated situation and filing the K-1 visa may not be in our future. We have a lot to figure out before I leave."
When it became time for Avery to leave Australia, Avery told Ash that he may not be able to move to the United States until five years down the road so they must promise to be loyal and dedicated to each other while his son Taj grows and gets older.
Ash told Avery that he wanted to move forward with her and build something together. He said he missed Avery already and was dreading being away from her. However, Ash admitted he wasn't ready to propose marriage yet.
Ash said he'd like to spend a few months with her in the United States and meet her family before proposing marriage, and Avery agreed it was important for Ash to see her life before committing to her as a husband and the child she raises as a father.
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"We still have a lot to work through. I feel good knowing that we're on the same page," Avery told the cameras.
Ash then broke the news he had applied for a Tourist Visa two months ago but it could take upwards of a year to receive it. Avery just asked for updates along the way, admitting she'd be worried about the status of his visa constantly.
Ash then dropped Avery off at the airport, and they both appeared devastated.
"I don't want to wait nine months to see you again. It's my priority to get my passport and come see you... I am not taking this lightly, and I think you know that," Ash told Avery.
"The love that we have can literally conquer anything," Avery insisted.
So did the 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days couple overcome their issues? Are Avery and Ash still together?
Ash appeared on the June 1 episode of the Domenick Nati Show and discussed his current relationship status with Avery.Although 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days' fourth season ended with Avery and Ash choosing to continue dating long-distance for the sake of Ash's young son Taj, Ash confirmed their relationship has ended since Avery left Australia.
"We are not together. We broke up a few weeks ago. [We're] still friends, we're still close, but we are not together at this moment," Ash revealed.
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
Ash first announced in May that he and Avery had broken up when answering a fan's question on Instagram.
"Are you still with Avery?" one follower asked Ash in a screenshot of the exchange re-posted by 90 Day Fiance Instagrammer John Yates on May 7.
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Yates captioned his post, "Here's Ash admitting he's no longer with Avery."
Avery also posted a photo of her toned and buff body May 6 on Instagram and wrote, "Pre-quarantine...Whose ready for their revenge body? Anyone else looking fluffy right about neeooowww."
Writing "revenge body" would seem to suggest her relationship with Ash was over with.
When asked who initiated the split, Ash responded to Domenick, "I don't know if I'm allowed to say that, but I guess there was a lot of tension, there was a lot of pressure, there was a lot of revisiting the past. And that put a lot of pressure on the relationship."
"Plus, on top of that, it's a long-distance relationship, so it puts a lot of pressure on both of us. Breakup-wise, let's say right now it was mutual," Ash added.
Ash, however, flashed a sneaky smile on his face, implying there's much more to the story.
"I don't think I'm allowed to say who broke up [with the other] because I think that's left for the Tell-All," Ash noted.
Ash also confirmed he's single and not dating anyone right now.
"Oof, f-ck no. God no, please," Ash said with a laugh. "I need a break."
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE: BEFORE THE 90 DAYS' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
Domenick asked Ash how long that "break" will be, and then Ash made it clear he still has feelings for Avery -- whom he called "a beautiful person" -- and has yet to let her go.
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"We have departed, but we have departed because of circumstances. And the reason of the departure is because of yes, circumstance and the pressure of the show. So, I still love her, so for me to move on, it would take a lot."
Ash added that "a lot of healing" needs to happen for him before he could date another girl.
"Everyone is different. Avery can move on very quickly or slowly, it depends on the person. But for me personally, it would take a little while for me to even think about another relationship in the future," Ash explained.
But Domenick pointed out Ash and Avery have broken up several times before and so this probably isn't the end for them.
"There's a possibility you'll get back together, right?" Domenick asked.
After Ash laughed, he said, "I don't want to say 'yes' and I don't want to say 'no.' You never know what can happen."
Ash went on to claim that "Avery has a lot of trust issues" and then slipped the fact Avery was the one who broke up with him this time around.
"[There are] trust issues with men. We did break up on a situation where Avery felt trust was questioned, so on that basis, she decided to break up," Ash revealed.
"Whether it's stupid or not, I think you guys will see it, and I'll leave that up to you people. But that will come out on the Tell-All, so I don't think I'm allowed to say it [now]."
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE: HAPPILY EVER AFTER?' COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? WHERE ARE THEY NOW? (PHOTOS)
On how many times Avery has broken up with Ash over the course of their relationship, Ash admitted, "We were chatting about that a few weeks ago and we always have, like, a little argument. I say to her, 'We've broken up like 10 times,' and she says, 'No, no. We've broken up only five times.'"
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Ash, however, said Avery did not break up with him every single one of those times. He said it's more like three-quarters of the breakups were her doing.
Domenick therefore said it sounded like Avery has dumped Ash five out of the seven times, and Ash agreed.
"I would say [we've broken up] a few more than five times," Ash noted, although he acknowledged 10 times would probably be an exaggeration.
Domenick then asked Ash whether he could see himself still marrying Avery down the road, and Ash flashed a big smile.
"I think this smile tells you a lot," Ash replied.
In addition, Ash, who said he's obtained a Tourist Visa, confirmed he has traveled to the United States since filming 90 Day Fiance.
But Ash dodged questions about his visit or visits to America, saying he's "maybe" traveled to Seattle where Avery lives and has "maybe" met her two-year-old daughter, Silver, who lives with her.
90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days' Season 4 cast Tell-All reunion had reportedly been set to film at a studio in New York City in March similar to past seasons, but due to the coronavirus pandemic, those plans ended up being postponed.
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
Instead, the show ended up filming a reunion remotely, with everyone participating via videoconference, during the first weekend of May.
About 10 hours of the Tell-All's raw videoconference footage subsequently leaked out online, and the footage includes Avery and Ash connecting with host Shaun Robinson and discussing what the future might hold for them.
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"The future? I started the journey with it in mind that I was going to ask her for her hand [in marriage], and there has been a lot of ups and downs in that journey. I love her, so that's not a secret. I'm not going to pretend -- breaking up with her was the hardest thing I have experienced in a long time," Ash confessed.
"I still love her, and that's not going to change. So the future right now for me is to look after my family because we have departed."
Ash admitted "deep inside," the breakup is not what he wants.
"But the circumstances have pushed both of us to make a decision that maybe we don't believe deep down inside," Ash said, adding that he's just trying to concentrate on himself and his family right now.
And Avery said this was a difficult topic for her as well given she and Ash had "just separated."
"There's so many emotions still tied into this whole situation that it's like -- Honestly, I wanted to step away from the relationship to analyze things and think about things, which I know I've done so many times," Avery explained.
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE: BEFORE THE 90 DAYS' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
"So it just made that last situation clear to me, 'Why would I want to step away again to try to figure out things?' That's where I felt like my heart must not be in this relationship as much as his heart is in this relationship, and that's what I'm trying to work through and navigate for myself right now."
Avery acknowledged it's "never easy right after a breakup" to go through "all these emotions," especially since Ash had been a part of her life every single day for a year.
"So I'm still going through these emotions about the situation," Avery said.
Shaun then asked Avery if she could ever see herself getting back together with Ash down the road.
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Avery had already led fans to believe in late April her relationship with Ash is over.
Avery posted a photo of herself on April 28 and captioned it, "Repurposing some of the content I previous wrote and came across this, and it I felt compelled to share this portion of my journey, just in case someone needed to hear it."
"One thing that's hard for people to go through is change. We crave comfort, and when our comfort zone is disrupted it's human nature to feel as though life is in turmoil."
Avery continued "Once we begin the journey of self discovery, and self development, the beginning of the journey is always the hardest; with internal change comes lots of external change. Sometimes it means your life takes a complete 180 and you lose everyone you once were close with."
It seems Avery was referring to losing Ash as her partner.
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE: HAPPILY EVER AFTER?' COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? WHERE ARE THEY NOW? (PHOTOS)
"Here's the thing, when you grow, you also grow out of people, places, and things. When you start operating at a higher frequency, the universe will start shifting your world to match that level," Avery wrote.
"The beginning journey is tough, but trust me all those things that are falling apart in your life are just making room for some amazing things...trust the journey. When sh-t is changing, it means you're growing. #90dayfiancebeforethe90days #90dayfiance #motivation #quarantine #change #growthmindset."
It appears Avery was trying to say her relationship with Ash fell apart as they grew as people -- and grew apart.
There was also no sign of Avery and Ash on each other's Instagram accounts until Ash came to Avery's defense over disparaging remarks her ex-husband had made about her in which her ex claimed she's not an attentive and caring mother.
Ash wrote on May 12, "Reading the 10 truths about Avery written by her ex husband, it is hard to sit on the side line and not voice myself. I don't know the ex husband but I know Avery and I have seen her care, love, support and fight for her kids."
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Ash insisted, "I can share that she is an outstanding mum, conscious, caring always putting her little one first. Avery goes out of her way to make sure Sylver is seen, heard and loved and the way she parents her daughter is beautiful to watch. The amount of love she gives Sylver is beyond this world."
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
Ash also argued Avery goes above and beyond for her eldest daughter.
"I can a-test that she moves heaven and earth to see her. For Xmas, Avery saved her [money] to buy her eldest daughter cool fun tech gadgets and a laptop if I remember well. For her birthday Avery bought her a self balancing scooters. She travels 4 hours (1 way) every 3,4 weeks to see her eldest daughter," Ash claimed.
"Avery expressed with me that she would do anything to see her more but If I am not mistaken she is allowed to see her only on specified times. I have also experienced occasions where the ex-husband didn't let her see or talk to the eldest daughter."
"She also pays a significant amount (for a single mum) on a monthly basis to the ex. Avery is as a single parent an exemplary mum, loving, supportive and with the biggest heart. I have no gains in this as it is no secret that we are not together after the info leak and the 100s of DMs I receive on a daily basis around the topic," he added.
"But I've seen the girl take care of her loved ones and she is a mama bear who will give her live to protect her daughters period. Ps: for all the haters who goes around saying she is a dead beat mum, you need to bend down, peek at urself in the mirror and burst a cap in ur own ass. She never has weed around her daughter period."
Ash, however, managed to sneak in a little jab and backhanded insult at the end of his post.
"Avery may suck in an intimate relationship, but she is a gem of a mum," Ash concluded.
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE: BEFORE THE 90 DAYS' COUPLES NOW: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
